I Was Kidnapped by Dark Ops

Maggie and I have been working over Dark Ops for weeks to get him to vote. I found out he has not voted in over 25 years. He told me this as I managed to finally get him to do so today. The price was going with him for "assistance". He left me in his truck with his dogs while he went into vote. I started to smell a rat and called Eric to tell him where I was. I also told Maggie and asked her to pick up the phone if I called her or emailed. After voting, I said OK let's go back to HQ. He turned the wrong way. I asked where we were going and he told me its a surprise. It turned into quite the meltdown with him shouting about academy nominations and my informing him not only did I not know what he was talking about, but that I didn't handle that for the office, he needed to stop shouting and me and I wanted out of the car. This continued for about 10 minutes before I told him I was calling the police. He finally told me he wanted me to meet Lisa's neighbor (a nice lady). We got to the house and walked in. She was very very nice and wanted to know what I was doing there. I informed her I was Dark Ops kidnap victim. Once she realized I wasn't joking, she proceeded to yell at Dark Ops and explain its not only not nice but not normal to kidnap others. Jack Ferguson also ended up showing up - oh the bizzarro world of Kristen chaos.....I called Maggie and she did not pick up. I emailed Maggie. I pleaded with Maggie. She finally called back and I told her where I was. She, Peter and Ian came to "rescue me". Dark Ops announced it was time to go but I tried to stall. We santered outside and I desparately looked back and forth for Peter's truck. It finally came in sight.....and continued to drive by - thanks Peter - you suck at rescues. I got back in Dark Ops car - he was yelling we had to go and I knew the truck would follow.....I proceeded to bitch out the rescue team on my blackberry and then looked up to see Maggie waving next to us. Dark Ops asked if he had been tailed. I said of course you have - I have a security guard due to the attempt of imprisonment of Joe's peeps, remember?! Ian glared....Dark Ops was impressed. He brought me back to HQ. He brought me king crab the next day out of the back of his truck (really, Dark Ops, time to invest in a mini-fridge or something instead of trunk refrigeration) as a semi-apology although he insists he did nothing wrong. I gotta admit, I was pretty upset and left after I got him to take me home and had a few cocktails. The staff got the rewards of my efforts with a vote for Lisa and some King Crab....

Happy Halloween!

Today I Almost Got Put in the Pokey.

Jeremiah became Superman.

It started to snow during sign waving.

So I'm still fighting bad asthma but the meds are helping. Spent most of the day inside the office until sign waving. Joe's peeps took our corner by at least noon so we decided to just avoid the conflict and go to the corner away from them. They followed us. We blared our rap music, cooked hotdogs on a grill and still managed to have fun. There were a ton of sign wavers including Joe, Scott, Parnell and us. Joe started to intermingle with us but we ignored them and continued to dance. Media showed up and was all over us shaking it. I have a feeling we are gonna get in trouble for some of the footage but that's what makes us fun. Towards the end of sign waving (we started at 3:30 and were still there at 7), most of the staff decided to bail. It was me, Jeremiah and Peter left. We continued to shake it. Peter had the idea to move down to our section of Lisa signs so we started to gather up our stuff to make the move. I saw some Joe Miller kids snagging our signs and said in my mom tone - uh uh you have to put those down. Thanks! Then all hell broke loose. The kid dropped the sign like a hot potato and his mom came after me and started screaming an inch from my face. She told me that I had cursed at her kid and verbally abused him. I told her that was untrue and that she needed to get away from me or I'd have to call the police. She then informed me that I didn't know anything and she was a powerful lady and I was in for a world of trouble. She called someone on her phone and told whomever that I shook her kid and verbally abused him and that I was drunk in public. Most of you know I really don't drink AND its never in public. One of the Miller people told her to stop and she was being absurd. I decided it was time to call HQ and tell them what was going on. Peter and Jeremiah wanted me to leave but I didn't think it was a good idea because I was worried this nutcase would continue to spout her lies at whomever was coming. As I was on the phone with HQ, she grabbed her 4 kids and left. I continued to stand there for about another 15 minutes. The Joe people kept looking at me as I calmly stood there waiting for whomever. Finally one of the guys came up and said you should really go. I explained that I was concerned about folks lying and that as a mom it really upset me that such accusations would be made. The assured me that would not be the case and so after listening to Peter and Jeremiah, we packed our stuff up and left. But first the Joe people had to explain their abortion views to me. I thanked them for sharing their views and said I couldn't get into that but I respected their opinions. I have no idea if cops came or not. After getting back to HQ, we were then flooded with protestors shouting free Dan free Dan - about 30 of them showed up. It was ridic and crazy. Apparently after we left they continued to pound on the doors. We went back to Shangrila to unwind and Jamie made me soup - thanks Alaska Mom, I needed that! I did end up getting an awsome shirt today from a supporter.

Today was a Long Day.

I hit the urgent care center today and picked up two inhalers and a prescription for robitussen with codine (I decided not to fill that one). Have a bit of a cold but all is well. Closed the day with sign waving in the snow and rain for an hour. Peter and I were freezing.

Made Another Run at the Valley Today with Lisa.

We started our day around 8:00 a.m. this morning in Eagle River and ended with another run at the Valley. Lisa was a hit as usual. She's gonna win folks. Here's a pic of the mountains I had time to sneak.

A Story about a Volunteer that Simply Must be Shared....

We had a volunteer that helped out before I started blogging about campaign life. His name was Bob. He wore a cowboy hat and thus got dubbed cowboy Bob. Cowboy Bob decided he wanted a job other then building signs. He announced he wanted a job. I told him that was great. He announced he wanted to wear a suit and wanted a laptop. I was hesitant about that idea but he announced he was an accountant and would be rocking a suit the next day. The next day he showed up rocking a three piece suit, suspenders, overcoat, pins on his suit and his cowboy hat. He designated himself as Business Bob. Some fool gave him a laptop and I gotta admit he did a great job designing a pull tab template for our website. It was immediately posted and distributed far and wide. A Washington Post reporter showed up and took photos of him. He showed up at our rally and brought his wife. She came to our call center and made calls. Everything was going great......then he showed up in khaki pants and loudly announced he was semi-casual Bob. Then he showed up in jeans, fixed the toliet paper roll holder and announced he was Mechanical Bob. Then he showed up in his white van with Lisa signs taped all over it and announced he was Flaming Bob because he bought flame tape. We soon realized he was crazy ass Bob. He would involve at least 7-10 staffers on any given agenda he would deem a priority and shout loudly about everything and anything. He was dubbed "kooky" by the Washington Post reporter. I came in from staffing Lisa all day - he wanted to know if I had seen his van. I didn't know what he was talking about - I hadn't even sat down at my desk yet. I asked him to give me 5 minutes of "me time". He didn't get it and continued. After I asked for me time at least 10 times he said, "you know, when my wife wants me to stop talking she yells shut the f up (except he used the word). I explained that my mother raised me with manners and me time is the polite way of saying that. So he continued. I yelled "Bob, shut the F up." Just following orders everyone - just following orders.

One day he He doesn't come by anymore. Thank God. Bipolar Bob was a bit much for campaign life.....or any life for that matter. We liked the wife though....I heard he attempted to work for Scott - he didn't last very long over there either.....

One Crazy Volunteer Story

So the crazy lady who removed her weave while picking nits off Lisa was kind enough to come by again. She strolled into the call center, grabbed the mints off the table, popped one in her mouth and loudly announced she had just given someone a BJ. I'm not going to write out what BJ means - you figure it out. She then was kind enough to announce loudly that she had to go to Walmart to buy a douche. Betsy was appalled - she was looking for Jake - looks like Jake has a new lady friend.....

Last Night I Had Two 70 Year Olds Fight Over Me.

Look out world. One one phone I had an offer of a date with Dark Ops. On the other phone I had an offer of a date with Big Frank. I choose Big Frank and ended up at a swank restaurant with Dennis, Nancy and Frank - it was a 3.5 hour dinner. While I ate very very good, I then had to still have second dinner at Jamie's. I came home to find out they lit the table on fire and were able to put it out with water that was on the table. I was relieved to find out that it was not my fault this time. Second dinner was homemade lasagna and salad.......aren't I a lucky girl to have two 70 year olds fighting over me, Eric?!

The Silverback Makes it to Alaska.

For those that don't know my theory on how things work in a campaign, I consider us all monkeys. Then you have the rare silverback who runs the show and keeps the monkey's in line. The original silverback is back in town....Frank! I had tons of fun staffing him and Nancy today and keeping them out of trouble.

Yet Another Victorious Sign Waving.

Our corner we took over after scaring them away is above.

We had a debate tonight and showed up to wave and rally our cause. Joe Miller's peeps finally showed up to find that we had staked Lisa signs in traffic cones on the corner opposite of us. It was quite comical to see them waving signs with the Lisa ones intertwined with them. They were so torn with wanting to remove them but knowing they couldn't touch them. One man thought he was extremely clever and continuingly yelled at us. We refused to budge and after they realized they really weren't getting honks they high-tailed it to the debate. I grabbed four peeps and a 4X8 and retook our corner. I think I'm developing a reputation as the crazy-ass sign-waving Lisa lady. The words war and tactical manuveurs were shouted by me yet again and it was an awesome moment (at least Peter and I thought so). After that we decided to have a car parade to the debate. A poor Miller person got stuck in the middle - again, quite a comical moment.

Dark Ops Brought Me Presents.

I came back from an afternoon meeting to quickly jump in Maggie's car and head to sign waving at the debate. I had extremely limited time so I was literally sitting in the front seat trying to wiggle into my snow pants when Dark Ops rolled up. He stopped us and opened his car trunk to reveal the shrimp he promised. Then he gave me jerky. Then moose steak. Then sausage links. Then unveiled a giant chunk of summer sausage, grabbed a knife and gave me half. He tried to talk me into taking the moose liver and liverwurst but I passed. Maggie and the girls thought it was disgusting that I accepted meat out of someone's car trunk in the middle of a street from a nutcase.....I saw nothing wrong with it....only in Alaska......

This Morning We Thanked Our Volunteers.

So we had a big thank you breakfast this morning for all the super star volunteers who have diligently helped us for the cause of having Lisa win. We were supposed to be there by 10am to set up....but I introduced the kids to the magic of stress bombs the night before. I warned them they were deadly - they scoffed and consumed several. We ended up having to house 5 other people overnight. Sorry Jamie! There were pictures taken....they shall not be posted to protect the innocent. One staffer had to buy fresh clothes and a giant bottle of mouthwash at Wal-Mart the next day to make it to work on time....I'm just mentioning it....anyways, back to the breakfast. We showed up. We set up. It was a hit. Lisa was speaking....and then one of the crazies showed up. She shows up often and makes us make random signs for her. She makes Jake drive her around town as well.....she saw Lisa and promptly starting screaming, "Oh my God, its Lisa Murkowski!" While Lisa was speaking. Then she removed her wig. Then she snuck up behind Lisa like a ninja (it was really really weird) and she started picking lint off Lisa's back. Again, while she was speaking. All while holding her fake hair in her hands. Then Lisa asked us to close our eyes and take a deep breath and....do 5 jumping jacks. Oh were the junior staff overjoyed with that. I just chuckled....

Today was a Shitty Day...

This morning started with lit drops. I found a gem of a house that I decided wasn't a good idea to leave stuff on. I decided to take a picture of it. I also apparently stepped in dog sh*t. Maggie and I dropped signs at a volunteer sign waving and also did an emergency sign drop at a dry cleaners who had their signs stolen. They were very appreciative. Now I'm at the phone banks making the calls. Pot roast is cooking in the crock pot and we have another sign waving tonight - looking forward to seeing if Jeremy shows up....

Last Night was War.

We went to the Joe corner again last night - our new Friday night hot spot. It was crawling with about 10 Miller peeps. Jake locked his keys in the car and we had to find a slim jim to open it - Jake, I told you Eric warned you not to short out the locks! Anyways back to the sign waving....the Miller folks started dropping off like flies. There was one lone wolf - the staff were fading. I started screaming about it being war and we would not abandon our posts. Then the Joe Miller truck parade showed up. I refused to budge and loudly announced I had all night to sign wave. They decided it wasn't worth dealing with the crazy Lisa lady and left. I loudly declared victory and got mad honks. I think I scared a few staffers with my combativeness tonight.

Trying out a new design of 4x8s

So we are basically out of everything. Signs! Signs! Signs! All signs-big signs, little signs, pens, pins, stickers - everything. Peter and I would have a liquidation sale but there's nothing left other than my secret stash of stuff I had for emergency non-approved Gail missions. Sorry Gail.....I'm a dark horse - there's no stopping a dark horse. Here's the new suggested design. We shall see if it gets approved. I also stole Peter's truck today and Per and I snagged a big Lisa sign that we thought would be better suited in another location. A taxicab driver stopped us and yelled do you work for Miller?! He was much happier after I gave him a Lisa pin and bracelet and the sign looks awesome in our new non-approved location (we did get permission for the location of the new sign from the owner, but not permission to steal the sign back from someone else - the location really did SUCK).

Phone banking at the call center....

So today we did our first mandatory round of calls. We are all required to call at least 100-200 a day. I decided it was in my better interest to knock mine out while people are at work. Those that work with me know how much I LOVE talking on the phone. Several staff agreed that this was a good course of action and our call center filled up quickly with eager volunteers. I started my first call as Rachel Burnett....yes DC my phone banking alias is back! Jeremiah looked at me after the first call and said - umm....are you really going to sound like that every time because if so I will have to move. I said oh yes honey - its all about the sugar. I God blessed everyone and had one angry caller who I accidently called twice. He was kind enough to tell me that I ruined not only his day from the first call but ruined his week from making a second call. I then kindly informed him that I was worried about him because when Lisa won I didn't want him to throw himself off the bridge. There were lots of laughs and KRISTENS shouted after that comment. The call center thought that was quite funny but Betsy and Amanda weren't such fans of my comments. I decided it was in my best interests to move to another room and proceeded to leave about 90-120 other cheerful over-eager messages to every resident of Eagle River. Peter is not in to phone banking as you can see from this pic.

Working after hours.....

Today was a Desk Day.

Today I gathered supplies, took inventory, checked the website for uplink errors and just basically worked at my desk. Maggie and I snuck out at one point and sadly missed Dark Ops visit. Apparently he brought some Hollywood honcho over to see us - whatever. I had to run over 200 bracelets to an evening fundraiser and saw two giant moose eating grass on the side of the road. Awesome!

Food Situation

So I haven't been posting dinners lately from Shan-gri-la. I figure I should inform both my mom and my Alaska mom to not worry - we are finally being fed every day at HQ by volunteers so we have been eating very good and thus haven't had to actually cook our own food! We've had chicken noodle soup, tortilla soup, scalloped potatoes with meatballs, spaghetti with meat sauce, tortilla soup, muffins, donuts, and more!

Closed the Day with More Sign Waving.

My old Alaska roomie Rob showed up to help show our support for Lisa. We stood on the right and McAdams crew stood on the left of the door. There was one truck that came to scope out the situation from Joe's campaign but he decided he was outnumbered and left. It was good showing from both of our camps. We were all cordial with each other. We made a sign bridge for Lisa to run under when she arrived and I think we got her really energized and in the right mood before the debate. She is currently debating Scott now. I know she will do great! I'm back at HQ manning the office so the rest of the staff could stay and watch in person.

Sign Waving at 7 a.m. for Alaska Day!

We rolled up to Sears parking lot at 7am. We set up our generator from Dark Ops and our sound equipment and rocked out to Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA. The energy was great. Peter, Per and I danced like fools. About 60 folks showed up to freeze their asses off and then go vote early! Lisa and Verne came and Lisa made a speech. Lots of horn honks. Folks were jazzed about Joe arresting a reporter. Big debate against Scott tonight!

Got a Generator from Dark Ops last night.....

So....we needed a generator to run the sound equipment I managed to snag for the big rally this morning. Panic ensued and it ended up on my shoulders. Good thing I knew just the man for the job - DARK OPS. I called Dark Ops and begged for his generator. He said call him in two hours. When I called I was given the following message....."get some guys. Go to Post Road. Look for the hedge and the rock. You will see a gate. It looks locked. Its not. Call me for further instructions at the gate". So....Peter was signed up for the task. I gave him the directions. He said I was nuts. He went anyways......and we have a generator! Here's a photo of the famous bush and rock.

I Was Proposed to Last Night

We went to sign wave last night. I think we were on the wrong corner so it was just us but we figured it would be good to split the team anyways and get both sides of traffic to the Aces hockey game. Peter and I were energetic. Per and Jake were rocking the big 4x8. I tried to get Mary extra energized and coach her on her "woooos" but she was not feeling it. After several attempts at instruction in the proper technique of woo....I gave up. Peter came up with using all the extra traffic cones we found to put up additional signs since we forgot to bring a hammer. It turned out quite well. There were lots of horn honks, thumbs up and some sarcasm screamed at us as well. As I started to pack up our goods, I made eye contact with a guy who then decided it was his personal mission to grab a sign and amp the energy up by 1,000. He started running in the streets and yelling Lisa! Lisa! Vote! Vote Vote! Then he told me how hot I was and asked if I was single. Don't worry Eric - I flashed the bling and said sorry already taken but offered up Mary. Then I told her to unzip her coat and let her hair hang out - she was not very appreciative of my efforts to hook her up. Jeremy, my new found fan, proposed to me 3 times and then announced he had consumed several cocktails (you think?!) and was himself engaged. He told us he didn't know much about Lisa but she was also smoking hot and he planned to vote for her....ahh Alaska youth. He asked for my phone number so I had him give me his phone and Mary signed him up for the Lisa texts. I'm sure he woke up this morning hungover as hell, wearing a Lisa pin and holding his Lisa sign and wondering what the heck happened. He was still sign waving and yelling as we left. In fact, I bet he was woken up with a text from Lisa. God, I love campaign life!

Dark Ops Prettied Up Today....

Before I tried to kill myself on the gun range, Dark Ops stopped by for our morning routine of crazy conspiracy theories.....he was wearing a hood and looking quite odd. I asked him what was going on in his world today and he revealed that he had just stopped by from the "salon" and was in the process of getting his brows and hair done. He put back his hood and revealed dark brown hair color all over the top of his head and face. Then he asked Per what the hell he was staring at....I was like Dude - um WTF?! I finally convinced him he should go BACK TO THE SALON and HELLO.....maybe remove the dye before his face was permanently stained. He came by later revealing his new look....I gotta admit at that juncture I was really excited I had to leave to go to the gun range.

I Shot a Gun Today and Lived.

I had to go win some Lisa votes at Birchwood today. My friends insisted upon taking me shooting since they told me that was the only way I could blend in with the true Alaskans. They held my family photo hostage until I agreed. After a week of stalling and trying to get out of it, I showed up and went with them to the shooting range. I shot the first gun - it was a long big one - sorry I have no clue what I shot but I asked them to call Eric and give a gun report. I managed to maintain my composure and apparently did a pretty good job. It went downhill from there. They gave me an AK-47 - I shot it once and screamed "OK I'm done. No. No. No. Ain't gonna happen." Then they made me shoot a handgun - same reaction. I have learned that not only am I still not a gun fan, I'm definitely not a kick back gun fan. My friends and the clientele were highly amused by my antics. I'm pretty sure the gun range clientele knew I didn't fit in............there were tons of snickers and finger pointing.

Sign Waving was a Success!

Mary and Jeremiah got the sweet spot at New Seward and Northern Lights Blvd. fair and square - then Miller's peeps showed up and kicked them off the corner. The troops were rallied - we showed up approximately 62 Lisa supporters strong and took our corner back.

Kristen's chaos as usual......

So....we dropped by Jamie's house to get warm clothes before the sign waving. Egads! Keyless entry no longer works - I swear it was not me! We called her son Daniel over....surely he had a key?! Unfortunately that was not the case. After several swear words, a panic attack and a call to my mother to let Maggie know that this is a classic Kristen moment (thanks for laughing Mom), Daniel found an open window. On the top floor. I had to straddle both of them and get hoisted/thrown up through the window. Then we had to find a key.....then we had to call TW (Jamie's knight in shining armor).....then we had to get more keys (the walmart man apologized that we had to pay $1.70 a key instead of the usual $1.53 a key because all he had were the colored ones----cost of a key to a house in a snowstorm? PRICELESS).....by the way, I'm hugely embarrassed by being such a hot mess and apologize when Jamie reads this! No damage was done to the window other then Daniel and Maggie laughing so hard and trying to take pictures of my butt going through a window. My plan tonight is to figure out how to fix the keyless entry.... did I mention the oven quit working?! Jamie's gonna rethink wanting me to stay! My classic Kristen karma's catching up to me....

Today I was the mover.

We've doubled our Anchorage office space due to demand. We got old furniture from another campaign and cleared out the empty space next door. Spent a good part of the morning getting everything organized. Sign waving tonight - twice. And....its snowing and 30 degrees outside.

Dinner with the staff at Shan-gri-la

Tonight was Jake's night to cook chicken parmesan. Unfortunately, the oven stopped working (I think the ignition has gone) so we had to improvise. KD to the rescue - I cooked the chicken in a pan with some olive oil and then steam baked in a pan with a lid so the cheese melted. I toasted the garlic bread in a pan. It turned out fabulous!

We are starting to go a bit insane....

Today was our date with Dark Ops

Maggie and I met Dark Ops downtown today. He took us to the movie set of Everybody Loves Whales. We watched take after take of people walking up and down the courthouse steps. Then we went to the catering room and had lunch. We met many of Dark Ops buddies....all very interesting characters. One was quite the Lisa supporter - as we gave him a Lisa pin he took a very large sniff with the pin full up to his nose. Maggie really enjoyed that show of affection. Dark Ops was quite tickled to show us off. We then gave Dark Ops a "ride" to the Port of Anchorage. This turned into an hour long "drop off" with us having to be screened for security, showing IDs, and meeting with construction workers on who they'd vote for. He offered us access to Governor Sheffield but we passed. Here's a pic of our security permit. I laughed hysterically the whole way back. Maggie thinks I'm nuts......oh and we saw Ted Danson eating food.

Tonight I have no dinner to report -

I missed the opportunity to eat what the volunteers brought due to a senior staff meeting but Lisa treated me to a nice bowl of onion soup afterwards. It was really good and the chef added extra nutrients since we are both fighting colds.

Lisa Officially Filed Today

We rallied outside the division of elections - it was a cold, sunny day but we were energized! Here's some pics of Maggie, Jake and Peter and I working the sidewalk.

Last night was Kristen's famous spaghetti pie

Maggie and Jake joined Per and I - today is the day Lisa officially files so pics will be forthcoming later!

Today I was the plumber

Well today the drain backed up and flooded the place. Managed to stem the tide and call in emergency repairs. They are still attempting to fix the issue as of last night. The good news is we are still getting a steady stream of signs out the door, checks coming in and volunteers assisting. They have started phone banking and lit drops on their own.

Jamie is leaving us - so....what did Per and Kristen make #1?

Tonight was homemade pasta (great job Per!) with burnt butter sauce and tomato mozzarella salad (my addition to the meal). Jamie is heading to DC on business for two weeks. I told her to look up the Virginia family if she had time!

Excuse me sir, can you help this poor weak gal load 50 sandbags onto a truck?!

Some of my more random meetings involve meeting with our "special" constituency....

this is my guy "dark ops". He's going to take me and Maggie out on a date - don't worry Eric, he's 70! I've already talked him into donating 52 bags of sand and bringing me shrimp.

Price of Gas in Alaska is ridic!

What did Jamie feed us #3

Tonight was pork shoulder roast on rotisserie, quattro for magi, scalloped potatoes, pickled beets, french bread, salad and apple pie. The words spreading about shan-gri-la. We were maxed out a eight people tonight.